Oct
Love or Hate
Some years ago, we had a customer who seemed like a regular fellow, if a bit prone to mischief. He had done a few stints in his local jail for what sounded like minor offenses. The man lived halfway across the country and we never met in person. We could not verify everything he said. Once we found out what his real problem was, we were appalled. We ceased contact. This happened about fifteen years ago.
One of the things that man had complained about was jail. He said he hated being put with the kind of people he met there. To hear him, you would think his loathing of jail would be enough to make him a law abiding citizen. He gave the impression that he loved his freedom and hated jail.
Last year, I happened to be on a website for another state doing some research. It was the same state where that man had lived. Among things on the website was a listing of chronic jailbirds. Out of curiosity, I checked on that former customer. What a surprise! Not only was he in jail at the time, but he had a string of incarcerations. He had spent more than ten of the past fifteen years in county jails. This was not a lengthy sentence, but a series of at least a dozen short ones.
The man is an extreme example of a unique question. Do you love one thing more than you hate another? In his case, the answer was evident. He loved his recurring crime more than he hated jail. The proof is that he spent more then two thirds of his time in jail.
The answer to the unique question is a matter of actions speaking louder than words. The answer is not in what a person says, but what he does.
That which you love most will be seen in your actions. Say what you want, but the proof will be seen in what you do. You might even convince yourself that you love something else, but the place where you focus the most attention and put ahead of other things is that which you love most.
I will give you another example. There was a man who was married and had an infant child. To hear him speak, he loved his family above everything else. However, he was not home all that often. He was either working overtime or helping someone with an errand. At least five nights a week, the man was out of the house. His friends warned him that he was damaging his marriage. He persisted in saying that he loved his family. The man kept up his routine of being anywhere but home. Needless to say, the day came when his wife left and went back to her relatives who lived hundreds of miles away.
The man cried that his family left him. Instead of sympathy, he was reminded how he neglected them. He loved hanging out with his friends more than he loved his wife and child. To put it another way, he loved hanging around more than he hated losing his family.
What do you love more? Do you love it more than you hate something else? That answer is in your own actions. Look at what you do. You might be surprised!
