Mar
Love Him, Love His
One of the easiest ways to alienate a man is to speak ill of those he loves. Whether said within earshot or behind his back, it is sure to incur his disdain. Many are the instances where a person can forgive slights against himself, but not against loved ones. In my observations, this goes doubly if the ill-chosen words are directed at a person’s spouse or parent.
I had a friend who had married a woman with a checkered past. He knew of it. In her teenage years, his wife had been her neighborhood’s floozie. The more extreme stories about her were the true ones. My friend met her several years afterward. By then she had been married, divorced, and had two children. Several of his friends knew of his wife’s escapades and we made a point of never talking about them. After all, the man was our friend, he obviously loved the woman, and she was faithful to him.
Now and then, someone who was not a friend might make a comment about the woman’s past. If our friend heard of it, he shunned that individual. The man would not tolerate people speaking ill of his spouse, even if there had been truth to what they said. He loved her.
If the man with the ex-floozie wife would tolerate no ill talk, think how intolerant others might be of the same unfortunate conversation.
Making friends is easy. Keeping them means showing respect. If a friendship is valued, then one ought never speak ill of the people and things a person cherishes. The degree to which he loves them is the very degree to which he will take offense. Whether said openly or behind the individual’s back, such things have a way of reaching that person’s ears.
