Sep
Desire or Dire
Desire can propel a person to amazing heights. Strong desire can outlast and out-perform willpower. A person with a great desire can do extraordinary things.
Desire is a wonderful thing when it is focused in the right direction. It is the bringer of disappointment if its focus is wrong.
Donny was a friend from the bad old days. Back then, he had a terrible drinking problem. He sought help through a rehab. Donny followed up his rehab stay with outpatient counseling and involvement in 12 Step groups. Recovery suited him. He felt so good he decided to become a certified alcoholism counselor.
Donny put a lot into getting certified. He volunteered at rehabs, since the goal required a certain amount of hours of real-time experience. Donny took the classes and did the other things. His entire life was focused on that goal. There was no time for anything else. The man wanted that certification as soon as he could get it.
It took over a year for Donny to qualify. Most other folks might have taken longer, but most left time for other things in their lives. Donny passed tests and had the requisite time in the field. Donny had pretty much given up everything he enjoyed to earn the certification. Back then, the field of alcoholism counseling was small and counselors were in demand. Donny went from working in a rehab to heading the alcoholism program at a hospital. His friends did not see much of him.
One day, Donny had business in the place where I worked. He stopped by my office to chat. He looked tired. Donny asked me an unusual question:
“Have you ever given everything you have to get something, and then found out it was not worth it?”
Donny was not satisfied with his profession. It was not what he expected. All Donny saw was the possibility of working to help others. He did not anticipate the paperwork, meetings, administrative details and such. Donny did not expect the hassles of working within the medical community. He was uncomfortable with the business side of counseling work.
“Did I waste all that time and effort for nothing?” he asked. In my usual manner, I guided him to answer his own question.
Had counseling work been the right thing for Donny, his desire would have led him to happiness. Instead it led to disappointment. The reason was that Donny did not think it through. He saw something that looked good, minimized any aspect of it that looked bad, and failed to check it out thoroughly before making it his goal. Therein lies the lesson.
Desire is all well and good, but the goal must be worth the effort. Take time to look at your goal before you invest yourself in it. Check it out thoroughly, and think it through. Ask yourself: “Is getting this thing worth the effort? Will it truly satisfy me?
Think it through. Be thorough. As the saying goes, “Look before you leap.”
I am certain Donny wished he had looked first.
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I had been working as a substance abuse counselor at that time, but had yet to get full certification. (I have worked with troubled people for many years outside of the counseling profession.) While at the substance abuse counseling job, I realized that I did not like the attitude of folks who had been working it for a few years. They seemed miserable. I certainly did not want to be like that! After weighing the pros and cons, the reasonable course was a return to my old line of work. As if to make the exit easier, a new administration had taken over the facility and they were the unhappiest lot I had ever seen. Sometimes the Gods give us an extra shove in the right direction….
