Jul
Referred Reputation
When people speak of reputation, what do they really mean? Each of us has a reputation among the people who know us. It is built on our dealings with others. We may not think of it as a reputation, but that is what it is.
Most folks have a general sense of good will toward others. Our tendency is to deal with others in good faith. We care that we meet the good intentions of others in a similar manner. We wish to uphold their trust and faith in us.
If an acquaintance asks a favor that we are willing to grant, it is natural that we do it in an honorable way. This is common human decency. If you look at it, you will likely find that a sense of decency and fairness is normal for you. You want to justify the faith people have in you to do the best thing. In the case of a favor, a person trusts you to act according to your reputation.
Some years ago, there was a crude but likable fellow named Bill. People were willing to overlook his penchant for overdoing the profanity and behaving in a less-than- mannerly fashion. There came a time when Bill was out of work. One acquaintance knew of a job opening, and referred him. Bill jumped at the chance. He did well for a while, but by the end of the month he was “laid off.” Someone else knew of another job and sent Bill. He was relieved to find work so quickly. Everyone was surprised that he was ‘let go’ in three weeks. Another person sent him to a possible job. Once again, Bill was out of work before the end of the month.
“I can get the jobs, but I can’t keep them,” Bill lamented.
A few months later, Bill overhead acquaintances talking about a job opening in a very good company. One of them was a personal friend of the manager who did the hiring. Bill immediately interjected himself into the conversation. He wanted that job. The acquaintances became quiet. They told him they could not send him, their excuse being that the company only wanted a woman for the job. It was a hastily-constructed lie. The people did not want to refer Bill to the job.
Word had already gotten out about how Bill lost the other jobs. His foul language and crude behavior were the culprits. In each case, he was warned to behave appropriately. Bill persisted in his crude antics and was invariably fired. People could not refer him because of their own reputations. The employers trusted that the person they were referring was a good employee. When Bill’s attitude betrayed that trust, the folks who referred him felt that they had let the employers down. His unsuitability might reflect on them.
Put it in your terms. If a trusted friend of yours asked you to refer someone to him, would you want to send him the town Neanderthal? Of course not! And if the person you referred in good faith turned out to be Cro-Magnon rather than capable, you would feel awful.
It is important that we use discretion when it comes to making references for others. Our reputations are on the line. If the person turns out to be worthy we benefit. If he is wrong, it can diminish trust in our judgment.
Likewise, if another person refers us or vouches for us, we need to uphold the trust he has shown us. He has used his good reputation to our benefit. We need to be at our best, and protect his reputation insofar as we are concerned. To do anything less would be to betray his trust.
