Jul
Sacrifice
I had two friends who died tragically back in the 80s. I was a substance abuse counselor at the time. Both of these men had gotten off the needle juice. They had stayed clean, only to discover a scary fact. Both had AIDS. In the 80s, that was a death sentence.
Despite the pain and torment of AIDS, both stayed clean. They died in pieces, bit by excruciating bit. Neither was Heathen, and I don’t think they were particularly religious in the conventional sense. Whatever they believed, they sacrificed a lot just to stay off the drugs. Even when it no longer mattered if they got high or not, they stayed true.
It certainly puts the idea of sacrifice in perspective for me.
Sacrifice is doing the right thing even though it hurts. Forget the theological distinctions. The real thing is not as glamorous, but it leaves behind an awesome respect that cannot be described..
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The week one of these friends died, we were having a meeting at our club. A woman friend brought him to the meeting. Tim made a point of sitting right next to me. He felt safe. I could see he was tired. He could not even sit up straight. That was when I knew. Tim leaned up against me and stayed that way during the meeting. He was weary in a way that transcends the physical.
When the woman came back to get him, Tim and I said our farewells. He knew, and he knew that I knew, he was on the way out. The brave little fellow had stayed clean right up to the end, despite the discomfort.
After he left, one of the other members said, “How could you let him near you with that Aids stuff?”
“How could I not? He’s my friend. I thought he was your friend, too,” I replied, somewhat angrily. The way I saw it (and still see it), if sitting like that made it a little more comfortable for Tim, so be it. I saw a friend; the other club member saw a disease.
Tim took it to the next world three days later.
I do not know if there is a moral or meaning to this story. It just happened. Over twenty years later it still makes me wonder……
