Jul
Reputation and Appearances
There are people who believe a good reputation is everything. A reputation is based on the opinions of others. Is it worthwhile to focus on attaining the good opinions of people? Or is there something else afoot here?
I have known too many people who are greatly concerned over what others think about them. They are like one of Aesop’s Fable, where in a man and boy riding a donkey try to please everyone. In the end, they make fools of themselves. The problem is that these people will sell out their own initiative just to curry the favor of others. They attune themselves to opinions rather than the necessities of a good life.
The irony is that most people eventually figure out the motivation to look good in front of others. They see it for what it is.
There is a word for it: pretentious.
If you allow yourself to be motivated by the opinions of others, you deny yourself the initiative to do the best thing in any given situation. Given a choice between doing the right thing or the thing that looks good, that motivation leads to a moral lapse.
In reality, it is not appearances that count anywhere near as much as doing that which is right, even if it does not look good. Sometimes the right thing neither feels nor looks good. Right is done because it is right, regardless of how it looks or feels.
Also, the opinion-seeker short circuits his own life. In cases where he can take a risk and do something truly great, he will always shy away for the safety of mediocrity. Those who seek the good opinion of others will not do anything that might be misconstrued. Safety come through staying within boundaries.
Ironically, mediocre choices do not develop the kind of greatness that molds enduring reputations.
The point is that if your focus is on gaining a reputation, you have the cart before the horse. A good reputation is a side effect of living effectively. It should not be a goal. The strongest reputations come from right decisions, right living, and fair and honest dealings with others. These come from an insistence on putting right before appearances. The fact is that without something solid to support them, appearances fade.
Live to make a difference. Make doing right a hallmark of your character. Focus on your actions and choices. Whatever reputation comes of it is an added bonus when your focus is on better living. If you fret over the opinions of others, all you do is hitch your horse to an cart that is forever empty.
Better the person who takes a stand, and risks upsetting others, than the one whose main motivation is currying the favor of the crowd.
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I shudder to think what would have happened if I had yielded myself to the opinions of others. The old magazine would have been tepid fare, indeed. The old articles stand the test of time because we took a stand. We ruffled many feathers, and at the same time we gained many friends. I feel good about taking those risks.. The result is far better than selling out and having everyone thing that I am a “nice” fellow.
If you do not take a stand, you might fall for everything.
